election

they blocked me from voting. said i wasn't on the list. they intimidated me. they told lies. they played out. fact over fiction. the genie is out of the bottle, and there's no way to put it back. what happens when we change power? we have a responsibility as citizens of this great nation. as a member of the Natural Law Party, I demanded that my vote be counted. so I called an attorney, who came with a video camera to record evidence of the fraud that was being perpetrated against John Kerry. the bitch at the counter protested. she was going on and on. i told her to shut her face. then the attorney called the police and they took the intimidators back to the car. we can do better in this country. and make a great statement to the world about the office of the presidency. every vote must be counted. in jesus name.

the president has made it clear. we want to solve it diplomatically. but north korea has upped the ante, walking away from multilateral talks. a drift to war would be catastrophic. it could be met with force from beijing. chong chong ding dong dong. the president has cast his ballot.

wolf blitzer probably suffers from retardation. he's lost his stick. bob woodward, on the other hand, he's got an iron jaw. he's an adult. he knows that every vote must be counted. rudy giuliani is a weak leader. he's got no mane on his head. the guy still thinks he's some kind of hero, "i have a tremendous personal devotion to the president." what a disgrace. go back to bakery school. dollop fancy lotion on that bald head. ensure its security.

who's this short-haired broad on the screen? she's got no tits. i'll bet she can make a lay-up six out of seven. but she's got no size. they got a a cajun system in louisiana. that means three candidates go at the same time. the cajuns don't make no sense. but they spice the gumbo hot.

the election has come down to ohio. fancy that. a bunch of three legged tractor hats picking the president of the united states of america. the buckeyes snap the whistle in this one. they've got the snazz. bill frist and the gang got the senate controlled. the republicans picked up the seats. that's the game. the tofu girls can say uncle sam.

who's going to win ohio? that's the question. will it be kerry? i doubt that. bush has a pan and a handle. he knows how to be a down home boy, with a baseball cap and a twang. he knows how to work the jesus. the common man likes bush. these liberals got some weak sauce. they fear the tabasco. they got no sack. all they know how to do is lose. who stared down osama bin laden? bush did. and he landed that plane on the carrier. that's not easy. he bombed the towel heads with some hot rocks.

laura bush eats rodents. she's got good tits. fat tits. she looks real pretty. when the white house held a state department dinner in october, she knew to use the colors of brown and orange. she adds a feminine touch. she's got elegance. and upper class sex-appeal. she chows the weasel with a vengeance.

everybody who worked the buckeye phone banks gets a pizza party.

suzanne malveaux. she's a classy broad. reporting from the white house.

the president felt good. he felt confident. on course. there's been a lot of talk about changes the president will make. he wants to move forward with his agenda. it's very important to bring the country together. he wants to work with senator kerry on this. he called kerry an honorable and worthy opponent. bush will bring the country together in the war on terror.

kerry eats clams. and chowder. where's the beef? i don't trust a clam-eater. he doesn't back the military strong. he can't pop the weasel for shit. he sympathizes with the frog-eaters. and he's going to be making the most difficult speech of his political life: conceding to the president.

they got a bunch of classy broads and poindexters with fancy glasses on the tv news. they talk smart. but they can't separate the sauce from the leg. for example, the first lady's got slim haunches. but the pundits won't say it. they fear their public. the supreme court this, moral issues that. it's mind control. thought control. brain management from the halls of power. they talk around the issues. clear shifts this, education that. just say it. laura has slim haunches. and good tits. same for jenna.

this asian news broad's got some kind of pokeman hair do. she sits more like a kabuki than a geisha. she's snappy and on point. she's doing a fine job. but we will never forget pearl harbor.

this wolf blitzer's a sad case. his suit's too grey. the man's gloomy. it ain't right. they call him "the iron man". good lord. he needs to stay hydrated. gator-aide's real good. electrolytes. and lose the shiny tie.

judy woodruff has got that east coast class. k-street. washington operatives. the pentagon. office of the secretary. senators and representatives. the lady wears pearls, that's for sure. same for suzanne malveaux. she could walk the promenade in monaco. or dine at the best boulengerie. she flies first class. round-trip.

beacon hill is a classy neighborhood. that's where the rich men of boston live. old money. important families. lawyers and psychiatrists. potentates of the mutual fund industry. massachusetts democrats with fancy cuffs and collars. kerry should have picked a florida orange juice drinker, not a slick trial lawyer. then we'd be saluting him as the commander.

f-ball

Are you ready for some f-ball? The new york jets take it to the house on the loser dolphins. Who let florida have a team? the dolphins? if i had a team it would be called the war trucks. not the dolphins. who picked that name? somebody's wife. they should be called the miami stoners, after ricky williams. go smoke some pot, ricky. then take an anti-depressant. then go travel the world. oops. you owe the team 8.3 million. time to take another ant-depressant.

did you see TO do the ray lewis dance? TO got the special sauce. same stuff as ralph reed.

who let john madden into the booth? what is it that this guy knows that makes him such an uncle willard? this ain't the circus. it's the National Football League. get with the program before you become the next ricky willsmoke.

chad pennington can play some f-ball. he's got focus. good luck besting his arm. he's a game dog. throws the ball. calls the plays. takes the team down the field. takes a hit. but he needs a coach, like bill mccartney or dan reeves, to show him how to lead a team to a championship. marvin lews appears to suffer from depression or anger management syndrome. he needs jesus in his heart. pennington is the backup qb on the war trucks. the starter? farvre. duh.

bam

That Ralph Reed's a real good church boy. He wasn't born yesterday. he knows that it's all about the politics. The man could sell shoe polish to the Chinese police. He's got that much pizzaz. Plain and simple. There's a future for him in the White House, i dare say.

Some four-eyes asked him about stem cell research. Ralph was real solid, executive director material, going on and on about the president's policy. he kept saying, "the president" this, "the president" that. As a matter of fact, i don't care if you're democrat or republican, liberal or conservative, you got to admire the man's deftness as an orator. He's on a higher level. He pops the weasel derrrty. Nasty. With some special sauce. I'll say that much. The boy's got an engine.

Some fat guy asked him, "can you look me in the eye and give me one good reason my boy should die for iraq?" What a panty girl. Move to Florida and dance the salsa with some cuban transsexuals. Thank the good Lord it's not World War II, when millions of us had to pull together to defeat the Nazis. We weren't jumping around in pink pant-suits like hillary clinton to get a bunch of ugly pregnant chicks into the marines. We were too busy trying to save the free world. The boys today don't got no sack. They're using fancy creams on their skin and playing Jap video games.

Jeb Nush is another one of these fat boys that i can't stomach. He's got no sack. He looks like an eight year-old who's lost his baby ruth. Or pooped in his pants and won't admit it. He wears makeup for christ sake. The boys a real beetle baily if you know what i mean. He wears a pointy-collared shirt. He married a Mexican girl. Talk about shoring up your base! I'll give him credit on that one.

This edwards lady says give a child a computer. A computer for every child. Blah dee blah blah. Computers are the damn problem. Is that hard to see? how do you think kim jong il got nuclear weapons? With a chalk board? Go back to the country crock. Design a robot. recycle. start a revolution. play some soccer. Whatever the shit the moms do.

america

at the chruch day, the kids were doing the slip and slide. the liberals' kids couldn't do it for shit. that's because jesus was not there to guide them on that slide. they need to understand that jesus died because of them. and he rose again. muhammmad is dead. the buddhu is dead. in contrast, we worship a RISEN saviour. muhammad cannot watch over you, for he is dead. as is the buddhu. furthermore, they are false icons of the Lord. jesus the ghost is his only son.

george bush knows how to cow poke like some real molasses. and that's a hog and a half. try tickling sue with a bull horn and you'll understand. and let me add this: karl rove is a genius. a visionary. well, not compared to michael dell, but i mean, we're talking a big member of the new american camelot.

by the way, big ups to the special operators overseas. those guys are doing hard work. tough work. but it's in the name of freedom, and for their sacrifice, i am grateful. do you get me? in this country we need to bust chops with a vengeance. with some serious damn sauce. so cowboy up, private or you'll be wearing one of those stupid chinese hats. or japanese. whatever.

ralph reed, now there's a real american. a scholar. a christian. an imposing mind. a member of the christian special forces, so to speak. and he's got that boyish charm to boot.

john kerry was a traitor. he betrayed the men who died in vietnam and left the pows to rot. he loves the red gooks like jane fonda. and he went to france to help the enemy. he's unfit for command. i read that he wasn't a decisive commander on the swift boat. he would hem and haw. he would go one way, then when the going got tough, he would go the other way. does any of this surprise you?

i saw john kerry trying to play hockey. he looked like a damn giraffe. it was disgraceful. the man's shot was weak. and that's not what we need in a commander in chief. we need a man who can see the rink and move the puck. that man is george w. bush. in jesus name.

john edwards reminds me of some local news man. like a cincinnati weather man. or the vice principle at some fancy school. but he's actually a rich lawyer. who does he think he is standing on tables, pickup trucks, giving speeches like he's a big dog. go sue a doctor.

have you seen this heinz kerry? she's not even american. she's from cheklozovakia or some shit. what a dog.

recently i saw one of these so-called "rappers" discussing the son of god. he had one of those rap names and a strange hat. he called out to the crowd, "have you ever felt god in the middle of minnesota?" it was a rousing moment. one of the young crusaders even had a skateboard. he said, "he's the king of kings you guys! he is the most awesome!" This young man should heed the pastor's warning: "when you are wild, out of control, jesus christ says no, no no!" p.s. where in the bible does it say to skate board?