Football the Metaphor for Security and U.S. Survival

There is a reason that good and righteous people prefer football and Nascar to windsurfing and croquet. The Almighty prefers people who have the courage and toughness to get dirty, tackle men by the ankles, and listen to the sweet cacaphony emanating from large and mighty engines. How can we succeed at the war on terrorism if we have to depend on croquet or "soccer" players? Our nation is on the road to hell if we let its control divert to such unmanly and unholy excuse-makers who supposedly got medals in a long ago supposed "war." We need to maintain our steadfast and resolute fight against the weaklings of our nation who would bow to evil and osama ben-laid-on.