Football the Metaphor for Security and U.S. Survival

There is a reason that good and righteous people prefer football and Nascar to windsurfing and croquet. The Almighty prefers people who have the courage and toughness to get dirty, tackle men by the ankles, and listen to the sweet cacaphony emanating from large and mighty engines. How can we succeed at the war on terrorism if we have to depend on croquet or "soccer" players? Our nation is on the road to hell if we let its control divert to such unmanly and unholy excuse-makers who supposedly got medals in a long ago supposed "war." We need to maintain our steadfast and resolute fight against the weaklings of our nation who would bow to evil and osama ben-laid-on.

LET FREEDOM RING

if we show uncertainty or weakness in this final hour, the world will drift towards tragedy. mixed messages only confuse our friends and embolden our enemies who hate freedom. my opponent has said the the troops are cowards fighting for a mistake. that is because he is liberal senator from massachusetts. when the choice is between defending america and letting the jihadist enemy attack our homeland, let me be clear: i will defend america every time. because i'm john wayne, baby. i'm like the gipper and optimus prime made into the super leader of freedom who domiinates al quaida. boo-yah, baby. i'll bring al qaida to the hole and i will smoke them. i may not talk english. but that's not what people want in a leader. they want a man who's decisive and strong. and who loves the lord with all his heart. in jesus name, i will defend america every time, with the full might of the armed forces. the mission is clear: bring freedom to the world like a beacon of love shining across the oceans to the lands of the asiatic and of europe, germany, and poland. i took a solomn oath to do that, and do it i will. god bless you, and god bless america, and god bless the coalition in this final hour

RNC 2004

Bush is Ford tough.

the *best*

I'm still glowing from last night. I have to confess something...every once in a while i experience something that verifies my faith in god. And you know what? This is one of those somethings. I can't believe how awesome Manny was. Wow! What a ballplayer! In Jesus' name. We're now finally going to get the respect we deserve in Boston. We showed the world what we're made of--not Boston pudding! More like steel or iron. I bet the rings will be made of gold. or maybe platinum. with a big diamond saying "world series champs." I get chills just thinking about it. Brrrrr!

WORLD CHAMPS!

BOSOX DO THE DANCE! MANNY BATS THE BALL BIG DOG! WHOOP! WHOOOP! CRACK-A-LACK SMACK THAT ONE BITCH! BOOO-YAH! DIDDDY NUTS HEEZY! YEEEEEEAAGHGHGHHGHGHHG. SMACK THE WHOOOOP WHHHOOOOP BEEEATCH! IN JESUS' NAME AMEN! WE'RE CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!

Beer

Yep. Drinketh the Beer; it is the Lord's blood.

My Rock

Ho, the christian legions roar!
Freedom rings, row the oar!
Victory, parade in the Light of God!
The Lord remains, his day in sight,
Yes victory! To victory!
The supremem goal looms large!
The missiles fire!
Into the atmostphere...
Through space, the Lord's Justice VIII
makes it's way
to Kim Jong Il's door step, Hey!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!

Readiness

It's about time somebody did something about the election fraud. If the democrats try to steal the election again, I'm going to be madder than moses. our forefathers didn't found this shining city on a hill we call America so that a bunch of vegetarians could turn it into a commune. In elections there are rules. You cannot be a fellon. You cannot vote twice. You must be regestered. And the rules will be upheld. All the monkey business they tried to pull in Florida really scared me. Before you know it, they'll have us all riding around on little bicycles like John Kerry, and flip-flopping on the issues. We need to stay resolute. And strong. The way to victory is to stay the course. We can't change horses mid stream. And we can't show the enemy any indecision, or he'll strike. I'd like to take a moment to encourage everyone to prepare for a terorist attack. You should have plastic and duct tape, in case of chemical attack. And a gas mask for every member of your family. And you should have at least a week's worth of MRE's for everyone, too. Is that too much to ask? That we take some simple precautions in the name of readiness? We need to apply that idea to our elections. (At Lockheed, I was known for "thinking outside the box") Take some precautions to defend against another imfamous strike against freedom. Democrats, sneaky as they are, can also be dasterdly. It sends shivers down my spine just to think of what they'll try this time. In Jesus' name.

Boo-Yah!

Notre Dame fighting Irish worship the Pope Devil! Everyone knows that catholics are not christians. Their religion is fake. What's not fake is a personal relationship with jesus christ our lord and saviour. I'll tell you that much.

Subjectivists

What's with these people who say it's all subjective? Were the Nazis subjective? Hitler? Was he subjective? Is the love of Jesus subjective? is Al Qaida subjective? Was September The Eleventh subjective? These damned academic types need to get their feet wet in the real world, like when Jesus walked on water before Matthew. And let me tell you this: there's nothing subjective about sawing your thumb off with a skillsaw and driving to the hospital with blood gushing out where your thumb used to be. Or shooting yourself in the leg with a nail gun. It wasn't on purpose, and it wasn't subjective.

His Cross

You might say, "How can I have a personal relationship with God?"Good question! While many people believe that God is real, many also believe that He is only "watching them from a distance" and has no real desire to know them personally. Actually, God is very interested in you and desires for you to have a personal relationship with Him. THE BIBLE SAYS: "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!" (Psalm 139:17-18b) "'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the LORD. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" (Jeremiah 29:11)"God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him." (1 John 4:9)

In the beginning, Adam and Eve lived in perfect harmony with God and as the Bible puts it, things were "very good." However, Adam and Eve disobeyed God. Because of their disobedience, sin entered into the world and because of sin, humankind was separated from God. You see, God is pure and Holy and cannot be joined together with sin. It makes no difference how much or how little you've sinned, you still fall short of God's perfection. THE BIBLE SAYS: "For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard." (Romans 3:23).

This puts us in a bind, because God tells us in the Bible that the punishment for sin is death–not just physical death, but a spiritual death which will cause separation from God and His kingdom for eternity.The good news is that God wants you to spend eternity in heaven with Him. 2,000 years ago God sent His Son, Jesus Christ to come to this earth and die on the cross to pay the penalty for your sin.THE BIBLE SAYS: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)In other words, even though you are separated from God because of your sin, God made a way for you to come back to Him. And, He is offering this salvation to you as a free gift. All you have to do is receive it.How do you receive this gift?

1.
Admit your spiritual need, "I am a sinner."

2.
Believe that Jesus Christ died for you on the cross to take away your sins.

3.
Repent. In other words, be willing to turn from your sin.

4.
Receive, through prayer, Jesus Christ into your heart and life. Pray:
Dear Lord Jesus,I know that I am a sinner and need Your forgiveness. I believe that You died for my sins. I want to turn from my sins. I now invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my personal Lord and Savior.In Jesus' name. Amen.

"the producers"

I decided to take my wife to the musical theater production of "the producers". i read in the new york times that it was supposed to be really good. i'm a man of arts and letters, after all. (I'm especially fond of books about the stock market.) There's more to me than engineering. I have an artistic side. Anyway, all I'm trying to say is that the theater isn't just for hillary clinton and that mother fucker Al Franken.

On that note, I'd like to announce that I'll be making a short film. Once I have proper training, of course. The possibilties of film, as a medium, are truly endless. BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS: A BUCKET OF URINE WITH A CRUSAFIX IN IT IS *NOT ART*. That makes me sick. After I found out about that one I worked in the shop in my garage for three hours to blow off some steam. In jesus name. Anyway, the point I want to make about homeless people is that they're all sex-addicts. I think it's possible that Bill O'Reilly has been suffering from a sex addiction. That's why we need a faith-based solution. This country wasn't founded on Judeo-Christian principles for no reason.

Sport

Can you believe this sumo shit? Hot diggidy dog. Now that's a sport. Those guys can race tacos to the Bunny Sue like nobody's business. Hey, here's a business idea: bring those guys to the WWF on MONDAY RAW. The ratings would go through the roof. Call them The Katzuki Ichi Ban or some shit, and do 'em up against THE NEW WORLD ORDER.

Scholar "slash" Statesman

Condoleeza Rice is a truly remarkable American. Did you know she was a child prodigy at the piano? Holly smokes! She gave that up for her passion, which was the study of Russia. Fortunately, that study was not in vain. She now leads the President's National Security Team on Air-Force One in the Global War on Teror, ensuring that America spreads Freedom to the world, especially to the Muslim World where they choose to worship Allah and Muhammad in mosques of stone. In a democracy, they are free to do that. She knows more about football than almost anyone. Her dream job is actually to be the commisioner of the NFL some day! Did you see the show dream job on ESPN? Represent the U! Boo-yah! Big Stew Scott in the Heeezy! Stewart Scott and Secretary Rice would make a fine couple. Their children would be the next Colin Powells. You take a Colin Powell, a Dick Chaney, and a Payton Manning, and you've got a real leadership team.

Bush!

hey, i'll tell you what, the men and women of the armed forces aren't bleeding on the battlefield so that a bunch of crooks like Martha Stewart can cheat the system. It's about time the courts upheld the law. All of these New York trial lawyers may be driving around in BMW's and eating $10 sandwiches, but they sure as hell haven't worn the uniform of the armed forces. And that's a fact. So when Super Tuesday comes around, I'll bet you it will be George Bush standing proud, saluting the men and women of the armed forces as commander and chief, as the star-spangled banner flies high and proud. And he's a great dad.

Clarity

My time at Lockheed Missile Systems was one of the great chapters of my life. We were all working to beat the threat of Global Communism. The war on global Communism was a tough fight, but we couldn't waver--that would have only made the Communists stronger. When we were developing the Titan 3, we had just gotten a major contract for the Lord's Justice VIII, a F-14 "deliverable" (sorry for the industry talk) nuclear weapon. That means it goes under the wing of the Tomcat. Some of the tests we were doing showed that there was a chance, albeit small, of the afterburner touching off the HMX fuse. That's when we had to drop the whole project--it just wasn't an acceptable risk.

Sorry to get so personal here. That's around the time Sarah and I were at a rough spot in our marriage. Fortunately the lord saw us through. In Jesus name. Now our marriage is stronger, because we gave our bills to the Lord, and stopped trying to make our own plan. there's man's way, and then there's the Lord's Way. And don't you forget it.

Footprints

Jesus. Only through him are we saved. That's why you need to read His word. And get in a good Bible-based church. My sin was lust. Everywhere I'd go, I was lusting after women. That was my Sin. And so I chose the path to heaven and eternal life in Jesus Name. Call me any time to talk about Jesus.

Remember, He died on the cross. And rose again.

He is my Rock.

Jesus

Are you a religious person? I'd like to take a minute to talk to you about Jesus. He's the Lord. He changed my heart. You need to read His Word. I'll be praying for you. As it says in Corinthians 4:16 "And the Lord taketh sin, and the believers were like the lamb. Do unto the word as the lord doeth his love."

i am a genius

i was just hit by an idea: what if we used the free market over in Iraq? We got to provide proper incentives for the troops to dominate the enemy. They should get compensation for every Al-Qaida that they bring to justice. Like a bonus. Otherwise it's just Communism. Everyone gets the same no matter how good you do. That there's Communism, George. It ain't always pretty, but I'm not one to put lipstick on a bacon-sow and call her Miss Piggy. Without the free market, things go to shit and pickup truck. So hell with tradition. We got a tradition of ingenuity to uphold. Jesus, We're Americans. Let's get the job done. Why play by the same old damn rules? Rock the boat a little. You bring a town to justice, you get to go home and ride around on P-Diddy's Yacht.

ESPN in Baghdad

BOO-YAH! Represent the U!

ESPN in Baghdad

We need to get big Stewart Scott out there on the front lines. That man's a real leader. He'd take it to the house and boo-yah those Al-whatevers back to Allah or whatever hocus pocus they're into over there. Hollar at your boy Big S-Mac!

Enough

I've had enough of these women who think they're CEOs. A woman CEO? That's like Derek Jeter playing in the ballet, or Manny playing soccer. It was only last year that i learned soccer was originally a sport for men. What a crock of shit! Old Europe! They can go drink some Hefeweitzen. I'll stick to Coors! By the way, Pete Coors for Senate! Democrats are too busy humping trees and appeasing the terorists. Don't they know we're in a war? I'll tell yo what, John Kerry betrays the troops when he says they're dying for a mistake. That really chaps my hide. Maybe he should go move to france and eat frogs. Let's bust those terorists up. I tell you what, Pat Tilman is a real war hero. Not that pansy-ass John Kerry. Have you seen his wife? She and Hillary and Rosey O'Donnell should go marry eachother and coach women's basketball. The men and women in the armed forces aren't bleeding on the battlefield so Hillary Clinton jump around in her $3,000 pant suit. I'll tell you that. I'll be praying for those ladies.

Reagan

This Tom Hannity is a great american, but he's no Ronald Reagan. Neither is George Bush, Sr. or Jr. Reagan was probably the best leader of the last two thousand years. Except for Jesus obviously. God Bless his wife Nancy.

M1A1

We have the best tanks in the world, because in the USA we know cars like nobody's business. All of these french pastry chefs that want us to "pass a global test" should go back to cooking school. If Bob Stoops was the general and Dale Earnhardt Jr. drove the tanks, we would have those iraqis shooting hoops, not americans. get with the program, Geroge, we got to use our ingenuity over there. And we need Tim McGraw over there to motivate that land to freedom.

quality is job one

When it comes to technology, the USA is number one. We dominate technology in the global economy, because we have the best nerds. That's what freedom is all about. So all of these pessimists who say we're falling behind can move to canada. Support the troops. Hoo-ah!

The Flip-Flopper

How do you think John Kerry got his tan?

a. Windsurfing in France
b. Giving abortions in North Korea
c. Riding his $14,000 bicycle
d. Spray-on tan

USA DOMINATES

They say the chinese are catching up with us in science. yeah right. our economy is probably ten times more powerful than theirs. probably a hundred times. they don't know how to be creative over there. and their weapons systems are not for shit. we could bomb them till they saw jesus. Halleluja, and god bless this great land of ours.

Can you believe this s***?

some broad is trying to take down Bill O'Reilly with accusations of sexual harrasment. This extortion really steams me up. If the liberals have their way we'll all be wearing pink pants and chearing for the Yankees, the democrats of baseball. what a bunch of pansies. hillary clinton probably humps rosie o'donnell in yankees pajamas.

2-0

BOSOX rule, cardinals drool...they are the oakland raiders cheerleaders of baseball.

more alcs

the yankees are not men. they're the oakland raiders of baseball.

USA

George Bush could bomb North Korea and Kim Jong Il into kingdom come. We got the best aircraft systems in the world. I know because I worked for Lockheed to defeat the Soviets. We kicked their commie butts. Bring it on, Kim Jong, Il. You're no Saddam Hussein.

Football

And TWINS!!!!!

America's Team = Jesus' Team

An interestnig question was raised over dinner. Who would Jesus vote for? Derek Jeter. Any questions?

NBA

It's been argued that T-Mac could be a top receiver in the L. Yeah right.

Monday Night Football

Isaac Bruce is probably the most dominant receiver in the game. Combined with the Genius of Mike Martz, he formes a fearsome tandem. The Rams, as an offense, are doing things that have never been seen. Torry Holt is probably the best in the game at stemming. He makes some DERRTY bad plays! HOLLER AT YOUR BOY!

Bulger got crushed by Greg Spires. boo-YAH! REPRESENT YOUR BOY!

Big-Ups to all the play-makers taking it to the house!!!

DOING IT REAL BIG.

The Flip-Flopper

Supposedly, John Kerry is a hunter. So why does he want to take away my gun?

The French

The French don't play football. Coincidence? I don't think so. If it weren't for us, they'd be eating Sauer-Kraut, not those puffy pastries.

Football is King

If George Bush played football, he would be the quarterback.

Still More Sunday Football

The great thing about football is that you have a chance to showcase your skills on the next level. Playing on Sundays. That's what it's all about.

More Sunday Football

Tyrone Willingham once said, "football is a sport for men with tough bodies and tough minds." This is true, unless the men in question are the Raiders.

Sunday Football

Today, the Denver Broncos humiliated the Oakland Raiders. The Raiders, they're not real men. They're wusses.