democracy

opposing america is a good way to get punk'd. just ask the taliban.

bowl season

notre dame sucks. they got whacked by oregon state! the beavers!

bush

we need christian leadership in the white house. but we're not getting it from george bush. jesus christ taught to turn the other cheek. what has bush done?

iraq

the war has gotten boring. at this point, who cares? it'll be the same shit for who knows how long. i guess it's only your problem if you're in the military. that's how things seem to work these days. the crime in your neighborhood ain't your problem. it's the police's problem. the war? the army's problem. your health? the doctor's problem. blame someone else. blame bush. blame the evil corporations, the republicans, the red states. the homeless people that harass me as i walk down the street? it's not their fault. they're the victims! i'll tell you what. there's one group that deserves blame for the current global predicament, and that is France.

why are the french so rude?

because they're frogs that don't defend their country from invaders. they're too busy wearing fancy lengerie and eating pastries. americans liberated them from the german nazis. how have they repayed us? the french like to eat. but they don't like to do the hard work of democracy. they've got cuisine. they write letters with the pen. but they smell like fish and their women grow the hair under their arms long as the louvre. they're to blame for vietman. and they stink like skunks. their cowardice caused world war II! but they just go on eating crepes and perfuming themselves while americans toil away in iraq and afghanistan. don't they know that satan likes crepes?

iraq

what's wrong with war? casualties? if we don't win, america itself will be the casualty. there are people who wish to harm america, who will stop at nothing to destroy the empire. and if they succeed, it's going to be ugly. really, really, really ugly. would the muslim terrorists really change their agenda if america withdrew from saudi arabia and abandoned its alliance with israel? they'd probably only be emboldened.

the cost of war is high. incredibly high. but what other choice do we have? if al qaida successfully infiltrated the united states, it really would be catastrophic. so send the hogs. with mp5's and m16s, bradleys and strykers, m1's and humvees. hunt down the terrorists on their soil. kill them. smoke them out of their holes. bring them to justice. in their regions, establish regimes of law enforcement that won't tollerate them. subdue them with blue jeans and action movies, malls and stadiums, armies and officers of the law.

it's clear that the war in iraq was a mistake. i don't think we can supress the iraqi radicals any better than saddam could. i'm surprised that friendly relations with saddam could not be maintained. he should have been eager to serve as our proxy. i think that we can succede in iraq. just give the kids toys.

government/intimidation

folks have been intimidated by the government. it controls such an awesome instrument of violence that intimidation is actually apropriate. at least, that's what george bush wants you to think. he talks tough. he attacks pre-emtively. he intimidates the fuck out other nations.

people are affraid. but if they had the kind of faith george bush would say christians should have, they wouldn't be affraid. but they are. and bush makes them so. he destroys faith. of course, bush is not the enemy. he only appears to be more of an actor than others. bush has been chosen to be the intimidator.

the truth is that america will not be intimidated. we didn't let the germans intimidate us, and we didn't let the soviets intimidate us. not the japanese. now, we won't let "the middle east" intimidate us. this would be a well-articulated conservative line. so bring the ships, the planes, guns, the bombs, and the tanks and the grunts, hyped up on death metal played on devices bought from wal-mart. we will fuck you up so bad that you will never recover. disorganizing you're culture block by block, bomb by bomb, raid by raid, the organic human order that prevailed formerly, the flow of bodies, hearts, stomachs, walls, and words, that has been terminated. we felt intimidated by you and now you are over. smart-bomb in your face. booooh-yah! we've got all kinds of moves and tools. marlboros, soda, nikes, brittney, we work in mysterious ways. you will not intimidate the united states of america.

it's one big intimidation game. bush has just been honest about it. we will intimidate the fuck out of anyone who tries to intimidate us. is that such a bad thing? isn't it better than the alternative?

however, there may be a general spiritual law that you can't go on intimidating people forever. hence, the fall.

people are engaged in power relations even in america. the macrcopic power relations are due to a function of the microscopic power relations. psychologists say police have an issue here.

god's plan

one thing the reporters are trying to get bush to say is, "i don't believe there are mistakes." maybe they're smarter than i give them credit for. when they ask, "what was your biggest mistake" their not just asking a dumb question. they're gathering evidence for the claim that, "bush is such a providentialist that he doesn't believe in mistakes."

one powerful piece of evidence in favor of this claim is his recent decision to award L Paul Bremmer (you know he's important because of that funny thing with the "L") the Medal of Freedom. Bremmer, of course, made the widely criticized decision to disband the iraqi army. things really could have gone a totally different direction, many think, if that decision was not made.

bush thinks that by postumously awarding him this medal, the situation will be ameliorated by his "show of faith." "yes, we were worried," he'll later say, "but we stayed the course and things worked out." because he controls the loudest megaphones, that will surely, ultimately, be the conclusion. at least, there's a powerful position in the discourse that can be occupied. it's not transcriptural. it's a richer process. but the people may have something that trumps megaphones. language might not end up being that powerful. there is, after all, the native languages. not the abstract representation of speach, but the creatures themselves, the truths they feel, what is so obvious it's not what we're talking about.

blah blah blah

the people have been intimidated by the media.

it's hard (at least for me) to take the process seriously. the pragmatist legal scholar richard posner gave a talk to the effect of, "let's stop pretending we have a democracy." the thrust of it was that the variety of candidates (who are all blue-blooded millionaires) and positions (pro-capitalism, pro-military) is so narrow as to be insignificant. on this view, all the democracy stuff is little more than propaganda.

in 2000, this was tendered as the explanation for why half the country doesn't vote; because there's no difference between the candidates. recall that one rage against the machine video. but the shocking behavior of the bush administration requires reconsideration of this view. if gore had been president, we'd not have gone to war, we'd not have dismantled the legislation that protects our environment and our civil liberties.

what better way for a regime to protect and advance its power than by claiming to be the choice of the people? that's the trope of democracy. it doesn't just claim to be the choice of the people; it makes the people choose it.

election day

that government-types go on and on about the importance of voting, but won't put the election on a weekend or make it a national holiday, is so typical. the rhetoric is has no connection to behavior. that's why it's called rhetoric. it's bald faced lie after bald faced lie. with flags and a compelling score. the byzantine registration process that kept me out of the polls this year is also to blame. there's a substantial logistical hurdle between you and the vote. registration. finding your polling place. driving there. waiting in line. all these cards and forms to keep track of. The system is antithetical to organic human process. People can't gather in groups, get excited, and move to make the decision. They're dispersed and scheduled.

lies

wasn't it profoundly disturbing how the military records of the candidates played out? kerry, a combat-decorated vietnam commander, was consistently painted as too weak and indecisive for the office. a wavering flip-flopper. bush, a slacker playboy who spent his vietnam period in texas, guarding the bar, was the tough, reliable leader. this is max distortion. black is white. white is black.

laura bush

laura bush looks good. she's in a light pink. but she eats gerbils, verminous mice, and rats. every time i see her, i think of that min-series "V". karen hughes looks like a banshee. she's not well. she's got a problem with her skin. dermatitis, probably. bush introduced karl rove as, "the architect." potentates of previous ages actually had architects. they designed pyramids, castles, cities. bush has got a snowman with a knack for lying. the architect.

ventura

holy mother of jesus. have you seen Jesse ventura lately? he's got a fancy black goatee and a strange mane. is he using the grecian formula? he's taken up a new position against governor schwartzenegger. something about the indians. this is gubernatorial Pig War.

freedom fries

the french don't like bush. cause he knows a pastry when he sees one. the french don't pump. they got no tanks. no strykers. they're all fancy paintings and lingerie.

dough

look at the fat dough boys who are for bush. they got quarter-beards to hide their chins. the girls got cheap celebrity hair and gold necklaces. high tech men go for bush. and rich ladies who can't sex. they like to clap and cheer with the balloons of red, white, and blue. it's a gala crowd. they go for america and all that crap about "this nation" and "historic victory". democrats are always saying, "wait till all the votes are counted." everyone feels real important.

O

oprah knows the modern woman. she likes a firefighter with a beer and a bald head. firefighters are heros. especially when they die. bring your wives to the premier. all expenses paid. oprah will give 'em a nice prom hair-do. you're on the red carpet. it's pure magic. glamorous. the special night isn't over yet. oprah's going to save your marriage. oprah goes out with a guy with a name like branson steele. a lawyer or a banker. hope he likes candles.

all the way to baghdaadd

sport the forces. they ride on truck! toyotas and humvees. look out, suspected sniper an nine o'clock. kick down the door and rise through the stairs. keep your gun at the ready! al-wahid hides in a spider hole! IED!

good buddy, you're legs are gone. vaprized in the splatter of the poofing bomb. hoa! the roars around are loud! medivac the chopper! concentrate your fire! evacuate the kill-zone! no man left behind!

we ride into the night, snacking on popped corn and freeze dried turkey. it's tasty stuff hooo-ah. we got these little glow sticks to light the way. you can connect your cd player to the tank. and ride to glory in the dark.

woa sheepish, the enemy falls at the tread. we've found evidence that al-wahid is attacking under the influence, high as alah, ready for his seventeen virgins in paradise. it doesn't surprise me. he wears a hood with the eyes cut out, eager to die for the awesome and ancient lord. is democracy chopped liver?

the desert is home to snakes. they slither and rattle, spit and bite. they hide in holes and don't die. their teeth can pierce a boot. kick it and the whole nest'll come. or they'll hide, and slide in as you sleep.

the forces operate out of the palaces. the opulence is unimaginable. marble as far as the eye can see. fancy wood moldings and chandeliers. operations are coordinated from here. on laptops and sat. phones. the pool where saddaam must have swum is still full. but its a dingy grey from the dust. the whole place smells like cheap perfume.

WAR

get schwarzkopf in there. he's a pig and a half. he'll rock it and sock it. he'll pop it and block it. he knows logistics, tactics, strategy, diplomacy, and espionage. right now the troops have got no leader. no one to relate to. they've got some grey-faced beaurocrats in fatigues, droning on about the plan. we need new energy, someone with will and flash. he'll build a thousand foot tall bronze muhammad shooting an ak-47 into the sky, if it comes to that. and he'll fill it with marines. at night, the'll conduct counter-insurgency patrols, arresting al-wahide and al-gore.

hook 'em horns

Mack brown is one heck of a coach. He took the Texas long horns to the Rose Bowl. He recruits the best athletes in the land. His players graduate. They play on Sundays. They do charity work, in the schools and hospitals. Most importantly, he extends an olive branch to the university faculty.

lord god almighty jesus king of man

The crusader rides for Christ's glory. He slays the mongrels with a steel sword. Death to the rat-faced non-believers. Terror shall not prevail. The golden light of freedom shines across the desert, where muhamad once played upon the snake flute, where he lied and swindled the arab tribes. Jesus will descend, down from Easter day, and drown them in a river of His holy blood, flowing like the rivers of Egypt.

Gather at His immaculate flag, pledge your allegiance to the broad stripes and bright stars of Jesus Christ, the savior of man. We must not fail in this crucial hour. The Lord battles the forces of the satanic dogs. He, the captain of the cross-masted galleon, shall not waver in unleashing the cannons on the red serpent. In holy jesus name may we prevail on the field of battle, lord father aim the guns at the enemy's heart of stone. in jesus' name. He is the king of the world, the god of god's, and he stands with Texas, and with America. falwell for supreme commander. hook 'em horns lord almighty american football for all eternity. The Heisman trophy goes to dick cheney!

winged victory

i hate the liberal pussies. they need to shut their face before someone puts an IED in it. they imperil the troops. we're at war! get your duct tape and gas masks! orange alert! quit your fancy panini shop and get to the humvee factory. up-armor! we got to pull together, pansy asses. you ooh and ahh every time one of our own dies. shut up! it's tough work, and we must prevail. you don't win a war by complaining. you win a war by being tough and resolute, by never wavering, by lining up behind your commander. we must not fail america. think of your grand children living in threat of their school bus being blown up when they go to school, or of the first responder heros that fell on nine eleven. america was attacked. america will ride the mighty white battle horse of missiles, wings, and lasers, into the dark land of muhammad, and shine the light of freedom, blast by holy blast. in jesus name. amen and god bless the troops.

an army of one

george bush knows how to lead. he's got that leader's charisma. he's steadfast and strong. he doesn't waver or flop around like a french frog. he gives the reporters nick names and jokes around. he knows what america's legacy means. he knows a thing or two about freedom. he's not affraid to go after the terrorists. and he loves the lord with all his heart.

one thing i like about bush is he sets a clear agenda. he sets a tone. he's a uniter, not a divider. and he leaves no child behind. but he traded sammy sosa, and for that i'll never forgive him. his dad never would have made that mistake.

we don't have an exit strategy for iraq? believe me, they've got an exit strategy. but it's classified to the halls of washington operatives and insiders. it involves a special satellite program that the democrats wan't to kill and give to the chinese contributers. hillary clinton gave kim jong il the lincoln bedroom. operatives were captured. files were erased. freedom was imperilled.

but there's a new sheriff in town, and his name his Geroge W. Bush. he's got a six shooter in his holster. bang! pre-emptive strike. it makes no sense to wait around for the enemy to strike. so we must strike first. remember when they dropped the
smart bomb on saddam on the eve of the war? that was my idea. sever the head and the body dies. go for it. too bad we missed. but now saddam's in prison, where he belongs. remember, this is a man who used weapons of mass destruction on his own people. he had rape rooms. he put metal torcher hats on the iraqi soccer team.

now bush rides the white horse to victory, all the way to bagdad. he shoots the enemy from on high with his six shooter. it's tough work. rough work. but he'll do it because he rides with jesus. when the towell heads pop up he bangs the hammer. pow! you're dead! i got you! then he calls in the carrier and the f-14s drop laser guided death bombs on all of the al muslama jihadi aksas. then the tanks roll in and run over the insurgents. then the subs launch cruise missiles into saddam's window. then the special forces jump into the palace from helicopters with those night vision glasses and laser sights and free the hostages. black hawk down! the heros com in on their humvees, even after they were wounded because no man gets left behind. the joint force of asymetrical network strategic command, the army of the future, kills the inferior soviet-made tanks with thermal imaging, a decisive advantage. then we knock down the towers of saddam and bus in a bunch of guys to cheer. psy-ops, baby.

the lord's prayer

these government types need to get to spanking the ol' monkey. that's right, it's tax time. uncle sam's got it in for you. he'll send you to iraq in an up-armored humvee and thank you for your service. look out for the improvised explosive devices, or IED's. be quick on your toes. don't get caught with your hands in your pants. be vigillent, steadfast, and strong, or the enemy will attack. try to attack the enemy pre-emptively, before he strikes. this could save the entire platoon.

i read to-day that the insurgents of al faluja have been attacking under the influence of drugs. this only strengthens our resolve. this is not just the war on terror, it is the war on drugs, not to mention the war against the radical islamist devil gangs. we will prevail, for their god is weak. he's got no moses, no jesus, no matthew or paul. just a blind cleric with a chinese ak-47 and a pinch of HMX.

the us is number one because of our unrivaled ingenuity and resoluteness. we surprise the enemy with the overwhelming fire power of our army. ratta tat tat with the gat, if you get my meaning, charlie. it's the greatest nation in the history of the world. we'll pump them full of lead and drop the daisy cutter on 'em. they hate us for our freedom. bring 'em on. use the Lord's Justice VIII tactical nuclear anhilation (TNA) device. put bags on their heads and electrocute 'em. show muhammad what freedom's all about. in jesus name, the lord god is our holy saviour. halleluja. may jesus drive a mighty steak through the heart of al muhammad.

club 1015

a woman likes a clean man with a wallet. buy her something nice at the bar. handle your wallet like you're a big executive. don't fumble around. be calm, decisive, effective. don't get one of those hippy wallets that's made in guatamela. it should be cut from the thick hide of the calf and filled with paper. the bills don't all have to be big fives. ones are fine in the middle. don't try too hard at the dancing. remember, we won the coldwar.

brenda

mais oui!
vive la france!
vive la fronce!
mois ouis!
vive la france!
five la france!
vive la fronce
frit in fray
frow house
rontin ron ron tin
frepish in alabster frails!
fro the cotton lobster bib
[happer easter jolly grip!
plestering plexus plexium plexum]

emerge into an alternative line
called balanced and rational thought
the language of a cool mind
bound to eyes
no excess of libido, chi, or ojas

and then we can ask,
well, where does it go?
what action should be taken?
we should go this way instead of that?
who the fuck are you?
who the fuck am i?

within the basest cattegories
god cannot live
within the chase of batten flurries
grapes cannot give
the juice that becomes the wine.
ah, literature, coolness , optimism.
ah, the sunny day!
the sunny day!
it calls!
now, it calls!
flower pots
and argots!

morning briefing.

denver broncos suck shit. shanahan has a bleeding asshole. fuck the nfl. fuck ricky willsmoke. pat bowlen and pete coors are executioner nazis. satan will burn them in hell. the bcs is the greatest system ever devised. fuck cal. hook 'em horns! shoot some roids and hit the ball out of the park! babe ruth was the greatest ever. a true legend. the hall of famer of hall of famers. immortal. like payton maning. he threw 4 touchdowns--in the first half! and he is a role model. my whole family loves him. unlike donovan mcscab and ricky "ja love" williams.

this message brought to you by bill clinton. hillary is a fox.

space command

christmas is the season for shopping. a good time to cheer and drink spiced nogg. i've been making visits to the apple store. it's a real advanced place, like a space building or like you're inside the computer case. at lockheed, we worked round the clock to beat the soviets. freedom was that important. we were america's best hope. when rumors of the first T-49 DJAM Orbiter started wafting through the inner sanctums of R&D, nobody could believe it. the director had surely gaffed, we couldn't build it and there would be hell to pay. we pulled together like no one had ever seen, working round the clock, betty making coffee and buffing our slide-rules. we popped it out like gangbusters. photos were taken. careers were made. bets lost. everyone at space command was brenda.

specialist

dag nab it! the booger kids hopped the fence! where's the plastic bat? the grass is fresh and manicured...to the field!

a signal eminates from the stone tower, eastward and westward, south and north, over round and pantry dale, by hamlet, brook, and crik. trumpet the clouds! before ye olden reasons stood god, deep and tall. and through the flesh "man" was made and thrown.

spires stood round the mosque, undulating planes of matter, the sand flashing beneath. arise and scan the master of disaster, the duke of green, the plastic sappies and drastic puppies, all heaving breath over enormous slack tongues. decending from the center the octagonal bore-house pierced the center space. picniques and blue-birds called to account every man and woman who had ever lived and cried their names in warbling song. enmashed with courage, an honest directness, a splendid catharsis of truth, defendable to the last, the bottom of existence.

the source of the ray points outward in gratitude, forward in freedom, to show one and all the snarling call of duty: to order yourself to the principle of light, to admit all to the theory, to return ghieldskdkfkdmkdsh to the marsden splay. persephonie! participatory! patriots!